Who would’ve thought I’d get my first job just 1 month after returning to the Philippines? Who knew I’d work with patients again after 3 years of handling simulation models? Who knew I’d enjoy work despite the anxieties of incompetence?
God has blessed me and proved Himself faithful yet again. The cares of this world may choke the joy out of God’s promises, but if I strive to learn from Him, I will find that He is gentle and humble to teach me. I need not worry about stability, money and success. I have all that I need in Christ.
I prayed for 3 specific things I want in a job:
- Good mentorship
- Good environment
- Good relationships
*Bonus: a monthly salary of at least 15k php
I wanted a job where I could learn side by side with the Dentist, be free to ask questions; a clinic that I could easily commute to, that is clean and well organized; and staff that have good, healthy relationships with one another. And guess what? I’ve got all three answered, and more! The head dentist was even willing to adjust my schedule in case I want to pursue further studies.
Working as a health care professional is a life long journey of learning and practicing.
I can’t lie, I was so, so, SO anxious in the first two days. My confidence as a dental professional was very low. I fear to appear incompetent and possibly commit a mistake that may cause the patient to get angry or dissatisfied. My head hurt from all the thinking and the pressure to review everything so I could be ready was overpowering. But I couldn’t possibly be ready in one night. Working as a health care professional is a life long journey of learning and practicing.
Life.
Long.
I began to understand why it was called Dental “practice” even when you’re already a Dentist.
They say, “Hey, where do you plan to start your dental PRACTICE?” or “how’s your PRACTICE doing?”
I mean, isn’t it weird? You have a patient’s life in your hands and you’re still just “practicing”? But it’s true. Do not be fooled though, this practice is not without thorough studying and prior training. It’s not a 6 year course for nothing. And yet, it never fails to be nerve wracking when you’ve got a complicated case and you’re itching to review everything in front of the patient- but you do it in secret because you must maintain their trust so everything could go smoothly for the both of you.
Anyway, back to the new job, thank goodness my first patient was just a cleaning. It really boosted my confidence to be able to do a simple procedure well and send off a satisfied client. Then to finish my working hours and get a first hold on my commission, it was so surreal! How did this just happen… dental school, graduation, the board exam? It all feels like yesterday.
But I’m here now.
I’ve finished all my dental requirements, I graduated from CEU, Manila, passed the board exam and got a job. All by God’s wonderful grace. (No, I did not get my pencil sharpened by a board passer, break my pencil, kick my chair or wear red underwear to the exam). I didn’t have to and I didn’t believe in it. I had faith in God, so luck is out of the picture.
Truly, He gave me peace to go through it all. He never failed. He sustained me… that’s how I got this far.
Whenever I get anxious, I remember how in dental school, I was always so stressed and easily burdened. I slept late hours out of fear because I didn’t want to get things wrong. I would get 2-3 hours of sleep everyday, 5 is my maximum. I would procrastinate out of stress and avoidance, and then cram my studies. I couldn’t eat well because I was always in such a hurry. As a Christian, it was devastating to represent my life with God in that way. But my weakness drove me to my knees. I was closest to God in my toughest times. Truly, He gave me peace to go through it all. He never failed. He sustained me… that’s how I got this far.
So if I was able to go through dental school and the board exam despite all my anxious thoughts- then I could most probably thrive in my new job without the anxious thoughts. Anxiety had nothing to do with my successes. It was what I choice to do with it. I used my anxiety as a motivation for me to draw near to the Lord, my Source of hope and strength. He is my success and my portion. I will not be driven by this rat race of a world, I will be driven by His Spirit.
Grace and peace,
Mary Dannelle
Mary for Christ 
Leave a comment