Friendships: BEAR with me

I have concluded that friendships people are complicated. Guilty as charged. Hahaha! I ranted on friendships in a personal blog and here’s a sneak of my drama:

“At the moment, I hate it. It’s tempting to stay out of it and live life on your own. But it is also inevitable. It is something to be kept and nurtured. It’s not something you drop all of a sudden simply because you’re tired of it or you were hurt or disappointed. It takes communication and understanding. It takes a great ton of humility (no matter how right you think you are) and a lot of perseverance. You shouldn’t leave people hanging whether they mean something to you or not.”

Image result for cute cartoon friends in a group

I do not own this photo

I’ve learned a lot about relationships nowadays, this year, it’s relationship with friends. Never have I ever been in a serious fight with my friends- kahit best friend. And never ako naging part ng group. I was always the lone type, hanging around with certain people but never really lasting in a clique. If I ever did join a group of friends, lagi akong neutral. Never too close, never too distant. Pretty much like the leech in the gang, feeding on their delicious company but an outcast nevertheless. (Yes, read this with a tone of self-pity).

But now that I regularly go out with this special group, I’ve experienced a constant relation between a ton of fun and a ton of drama. Directly proportional yan, Bes. You can’t have fun and expect to have no drama trailing along with it. I had to balance between being myself and respecting the person’s personality/attitude. Oo, lahat kayo mag-aadjust para sa isa’t isa. If there’s something you don’t like about the other, you tell them. Kung ganun talaga sila, ikaw mag-adjust. Unless, sobrang toxic na yung relationship niyo, that’s when you break it off. But not without proper communication and understanding.

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“Bear with me” (I do not own this photo)

That’s why I entitled this post (notice the pun) “Friendships: BEAR with me” because whether we like it or not, nobody’s perfect. No matter how close you are to a person, they are bound to disappoint you. There is no “perfect” friend. It is your duty to bear with each other. Endure. Persevere. Hold on. Yes, it’s hard. It hurts. But bruh, you’re bound to miss that person no matter what stupidity they’ve done! haha

Let me tell you this, there’s a God out there and He wants to be your friend.

It’s a different story for everyone. I have my own, you have yours. Who am I to judge? But let me tell you this, there’s a God out there and He wants to be your friend. You might be a bit distant from him and who am I to blame you? I mean, He is God. A superior, perfect and holy being. Who are we to be called friend- even CHILD of God? But God became flesh. He became human. He reached out to us, lived, breathe, laughed and cried like we did. Remember when Jesus knew he was about to be betrayed by his close friend, Judas? He was so troubled that he asked his three disciples to stay awake and pray with him. But what did they do? They slept. And in the following chapters, Peter, disowned Jesus three times. Jesus’ best friend rejected him. You would think Jesus was disappointed. But what he said to his disciples will surprise you:

“… The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Matt. 26:41) He understood their weakness. And yet again, they fell asleep. Saklap! But what did Jesus do? He died for them. He died for us. Grabe, tapos hindi ka lalapit kay Lord? Sinasabi mo na hindi ka karapat-dapat humarap kay God kasi ang dami mo nang ginawa na kasalanan. Oo, totoo yan. We’ve messed up BIG TIME. Hindi sapat ang pagiging “good” natin. But don’t you think that His death and resurrection was enough? What he did for all of us, is so that we will no longer be bound to sin and connect to God once more. But we distance ourselves from him. Whenever certain people disappoint us, whenever things don’t go our way, we blame our Father. 

God wants you to be close to him. He’s always there. He’s reaching out to you. Maybe you feel unworthy or perhaps, you think you’ve got it all under control. But one thing’s for sure, He loves us and he wants us to rely on Him. He’s that one friend who’s ready to bear with you.

Grace and peace. L.O.L ❤

Manhid Daw Ako

Manhid daw ako. Oblivious. Dense. Not in romantic terms (akala niyo ah!), but to problems, situations and to sudden change of mood. All of a sudden, may problema na pala yung isa kong kaibigan and I never knew. I always thought that I was the sensitive type, noticing people’s struggles and their discomfort. Turns out, sensitive lang pala ako, hindi attentive. Or probably, in different circumstances, I do notice certain “stuffs” but choose not to acknowledge it. What S. called “ignorance” and what my other friends call “happy-go-lucky.”

I don’t know what to think about this newly found revelation of my dense-ity-ness, perhaps I need to take this positively and challenge myself to be more attentive to other people’s feelings.

I tried reasoning with S. about my (now supposedly nonexistent) instinct to notice others anxiety, discomfort and emotions. She thinks otherwise. So, she may be true. Part of me begs to disagree, but maybe that’s just my pride saying I’m far too good to be ignorant.

GAH! I find this so offensive haha! Who wouldn’t? Well, I’ve got to lower my pride. One of the MANY things I need to improve aside from my insecurities, lack of focus (AKA lutang-ness), atbp. Just thinking about it makes me anxious. The pressure to improve. There’s so much to improve, I don’t know where to start! I want to develop my intellect- cause unfortunately, I’m quite slow. And now, I realized that I’m kind of insensitive. Plus the fact that I’m starting to sound insecure now. I need to work on that too. I mean, as a Christian, you need to have FAITH which is the confidence in the hope that you have in Jesus. Paano nila makikita yun kapag ikaw mismo, insecure sa sarili? Yes, I’m lecturing myself now. This is one of the perks of being a follower of Christ: you’ll start to develop a mind like His. (1 Cor. 2:16) It depends on you whether you will follow your conscience or take the other route. Knowing is easy, acting it out is another story.

Message to Self: You know what? calm down, Self. Ayan ka nanaman eh. Kaya ka naman nape-pressure dahil nagre-rely ka lang sa sarili mo. Take a deep breath, take your time and rely on God. You’ll just end up frustrated if you don’t. You’re trying too hard. Surrender mo yan kay Lord and trust that He will finish what he started in you.

Dedicated: To all who struggles with the same anxious thoughts as I do and to those who are simply curious of what’s going on inside my silly head. I hope you’ve learnt something, somehow.

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Reading this post again and again makes me want to laugh at how worrisome I could get (I hope you found it amusing- not annoying), especially about “what the hay could be wrong with me?” 

Anyway, I was searching for some pictures related to ‘being oblivious’ so I could post it here. Nakakatamad kasi basahin ang isang post na walang picture, kaya. So I passed by this one (link to post.) It kind of reminded me of myself. Though in many ways, contradicting. Let me explain. I notice a lot of my own problems and I like involving myself in other people’s problems- cause I want to help. But then again, I purposefully make myself OBLIVIOUS or unaware to certain negative things to keep my emotions at bay. Perhaps that is why I seem so jolly to other people. Happy-go-lucky. Carefree. Because I intentionally avoid drama. I don’t know if I’d have it any other way. I like it when I’m hyper and cheerful. But I guess, I shouldn’t try to let that get in the way of being a caring friend.

Magulo ako. Alam ko. Hahaha sana maka-relate naman yung iba dyan! This is me in the making. Thank you for your effort in reading this lengthy post.

L.O.L (Lots of love),

Weekly Psalm|| Seek You First- Lauren Daigle

Being so busy and productive with school, I suddenly fail to let God be the first in everything I do. I am very glad that God had blessed Lauren with such a gift for music. This song reminded me to put God first in everything and what it means to truly seek Him. I hope it blesses you as it has to me 🙂

God bless you my lovelies! ❤ Lots of love!
– Mary

First- Lauren Daigle

Being so busy and productive with school, God suddenly fails to be the first in everything I do. I am very glad that God has blessed Lauren with such a gift for music. This song reminded me to put God first in everything and what it means to truly seek Him. I hope it blesses you as it has to me 🙂

God bless you my lovelies! ❤ Lots of love!
– Mary

College & Updates on Life! ^^

Hey! I know its been a long time I haven’t posted anything and I deeply apologize. Life has been quite busy and quick and, in other words, dramatic and crazy. But God has definitely been good in my life. And by the way, I’m in college now! I enrolled at CEU, Manila taking Pre-Dentistry as my pre-med to become a proper dental student. So yeah, there are lots of ongoing changes in my life right now and surprisingly… I’ve been doing well, which makes me even more confident of the Bible verse, Philippines 4:13 “I can do all things THROUGH CHRIST who strengthens me.” and He very well did!

At the age of 15, being pampered and very, let me stress it again with bold and italic letters, very dependent on my parents, going back to my hometown to study and (hopefully) survive without their presence is very daunting to imagine. I mean, they’re only going to stay here for 1 month to guide me through, but then for the rest of the years (6 or more), I’ll be on my own. Then again, I’m not really on my own because, believe it or not, God had EVERYTHING planned out. From the flight home to my schooling and studies- everything was so perfect, even if we haven’t seen it laid out in front of our eyes, everything just comes to place right in the very moment. God provided for everything! Believe me.

Okay, so I haven’t told you this story (because I apparently haven’t updated you guys about anything- sorry about that), but I also enrolled to study in UST to take Nursing, which was a blurry choice of course for me to take- well so is dentistry- ANYWAY (going out of topic), I passed the exam ~ with flying colors! Haha kidding aside, I passed the exam but failed the interview. Which by the way, was held at Skype at Feb 14, 6am which was on Valentines day- isn’t that cool for my very first interview? I wasn’t so sad about not passing, and I trusted God that He had a better plan- but at that time, that was the ONLY school I enrolled in and basically, it would be considered late to enroll into any other school for that matter.

Long story short, I am now officially an Escolarian (what they call their students here at Centro Escolar University) and I am proud to be one! I stay in a dormitory with my 3 roommates, one of which includes my best friend, Shayne (who’s been my bud for 3 years). I can say that the dorm and the school is very secure and well managed. #blessed! And believe it or not but, college is fun and exciting… I’ve made new friends, this and that. AND I didn’t experience any cultural shock or any BIG changes, though externally there are quite many big changes in my life- but no doubt, my God has kept me stable. There are times when I feel out of place (or what we call, OP here in the Philippines), because most of the students are older than me and have already experienced drinking, smoking, and partying. But I’m totally fine with that- with all the things that the Lord has provided for me, I’m pretty sure that He will provide true friends as well 🙂 Another thing I’d like to address, is my need for familiarity. Though I didn’t experience any culture shock, the need for something or someone familiar constantly– how do you say this– it feels ouch and sad. Yeah, that’s how It feels. I just miss my friends, all my church-mates, my sibs, classmates, etc. I just miss them all. I miss Grayham as well (my rabbit), and the smell of the beach and the fresh air. No offense Philippines, but the air, if you haven’t noticed, smells polluted. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the Philippines, especially the people- and I do somehow prefer it over Dubai (don’t be too shocked), but it isn’t exactly the cleanest and safest country out there. And many would agree. To put it out more kindly, its a progressing country.

I haven’t found a church near the dorm yet, but I do attend a Christian church in Pacita which is probably an hour and a half away from the school. I don’t mind, as long as I get to attend the service. You have NO idea how important it is to have friends who will help you and guide you spiritually in your life. The fellowships we have at church is like no other get-togethers. They’re the ones who will encourage you and strengthen you in your journey. With this in mind, I started searching for small community churches near Mendiola while I was still abroad. I’m left with none at the moment. But then again, the Lord will provide.

My relationship with God is improving. I get to spend time with Him more than I did back in Dubai and I’m reminded of Him more as well. I feel very grateful and thankful for what He has done in my life this year. Most especially when I go to church on Sundays… I get overwhelmed and start to get teary eyed because- just because haha. I must admit, though I do take the time to read His word and pray every night, I never really savored it. Get me? I’m always either too tired or too stressed to actually just be in the moment with God. I’m always in a hurry reading the Bible, to finish one chapter just to ease myself from the conviction I get, “SPEND MORE TIME WITH GOD.”  No doubt, I need Him. College is a whole new level. More tests and quizzes. You’ve got the “tests of Faith” and the “Who Am I?” quiz. See what I did there? Haha! 😀 funny… funny…

There’s more where that came from and I’d love to tell you guys every single detail. Man, there’s a lot. But I’ve got to study for my quiz on Botany tomorrow. Hohoho God bless you, mah luvs! ^^

2015, A Year of…

i do not own this picture. Credits to the person who does!

I know I haven’t posted anything for a long time and its a bit weird to be randomly posting something that is… Random. I’ve been so busy with a lot of things and well, life has been a rollercoaster for me and I cant take it any other way but to accept it as that.

I can’t say that God hasn’t done anything in my life because in fact, He has done a lot of great things and wonderful things in this undeniably crazy life of mine. And well, I’ve been feeling a lot of feelings lately. Yeah that’s my intro haha! That’s why I say life’s been a rollercoaster.

I’ve been feeling a lot of depression, hurt, anxiety, but also a lot of joy, love, and happiness. And I love God for being with me through it all, though most of the time, I honestly never ask Him to- which I feel bad for because, you know, we should always let God be in everything we do, and in everything we do, do it for His glory.

The reason I’m saying all this is because 2015 is the year where I turn 16 and well, its supposed to be sweet (out of context!). 2015 is also a year where I make big decisions like, where should I go to college, should I study in Dubai? Or go back home in the Philippines? Should I take Nursing? Vet med? Dentistry? Med tech? I dont know. 2015 is going to be a year of change. A year of really BIG changes. My heart doesn’t know what to think of it, but thank goodness God gave me a mind! And God will use this wild brain of mine, to remind me that He will never change (Hebrews 13:8) He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. I take comfort in that.

BTW, its 3 AM in the morning and I woke up to catch myself thinking about love… Not the romantic kind, but the kind of love that Christ gave for us. That love. And I caught myself declaring in my mind, I love Shayne, I love Christine, I love Ariana, I love Jimaima, I love my sister, I love my mom and my daddy, etc… Man, I love everybody! And it hurts because I’m leaving half of everybody I love. (if you’re getting lost, which you probably are, I’m speaking about my family here in Dubai) Yeap… I’m going home, friends. Back home In the Philippines- but I’m actually not so sure about that. God may have other plans in mind (His ways and thoughts are higher than ours).

Anyway, love hurts- but its amazing! Especially the One True Love that only comes from Jesus. And I’m just so filled with it! I am certain, desperate, and hopeful, that 2015 will be a year overwhelmed, filled to the brim, and overflowing with Christ’s love. Because boy am I telling you, 2015 will be a different kind of rollercoaster. And all those other scary rollercoasters you’ve ridden? Pssh! They’re just there to prepare you for this bigger one up ahead. But this big, new, scary rollercoaster… cannot- and I stress, CANNOT, compare to our great, majestic, and Almighty God, Jesus Christ. 🙂

That’s my heart being poured out right now and I just can’t this out of my head. I hope you enjoy the musings of a 15 year old. Haha! Oh! and I hope and pray that you are blessed as well ^_^ it’s a such a wonderful day hihi (partly because exams are done, 100% because of Jesus).

I love you all! God bless you, my lovelies ❤ Stay in love and have a blessed 2015! Hays… I love you Lord!… Like sohper! (with Tita Precious’ accent)

Does Jesus Care About Religion?

Before we start, I just want to clear things up and cut to the chase, man (huehue Joe Solomon). it doesn’t matter whether you’re religious or not, as long as you love and seek Jesus with all your heart, you will find Him. (Jeremiah 29:13) In the end, God won’t ask you if you’re Catholic, Born again, Protestants, or whatever, no. Most probably He’d ask, do you love me? do you love my children? have you done your best to remain in faith and in my love?

I pray that anyone whoever reads this will see God in a new light and draw closer to Him more and more. And that they, the reader, would forgive me if I have made any mistakes writing this (don’t be afraid to correct me). Okay, NOW we shall start!

I found this answer in Yahoo! and thought that it explained the Christian religion really well:

Veritatum17 answered 

I think He wants us to follow Him as He calls us. Observe that there are Protestants who become Catholic, Catholics who become Orthodox, Orthodox who become Protestant, Orthodox who become Catholic, Catholics who become Protestant and Protestants who become Orthodox. Within these number are people who change churches out of sincere belief that this is the better place for them to follow the Lord…

This is basically it. We will always continue to think that, whatever religion we may be in, that our belief is always the correct one. But honestly, it doesn’t really matter because JESUS is the only way, the only truth, and the only life, not our religion.

Do you ever wonder why Jesus speak in parables? I mean, if He wanted to save more people, then why not speak in a way that they would understand? Well, don’t you think that Jesus wants someone who desires and actually seeks Him with all his heart? What’s the point of “saving” people when they will eventually fade away because they never really sought the Son of Man wholeheartedly? What’s “salvation” when people turn to God simply out of fear of eternal judgement?

Its easy for people to agree with God with no real intention of actually obeying Him wholeheartedly.

(Matthew 13:17) For I tell you the truth, many prophets and righteous men longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.

Parables– compel listeners to discover truth while concealing the truth from those too lazy or too stubborn to see it.

If you’re self righteous and all that, then whats the point of forgiveness and seeking Christ, hmm? I’ll tell you what, you’re not righteous because of your doings. If it were because of that, then we’ll never be made righteous. Good news though! JESUS made a way, and we are made righteous through Him 🙂 I wanted to explain the purpose of parables because I also wanted to elaborate that Jesus cares more about your ‘relationship status’ with Him than how many times you go to church, pray, follow the golden rules, or do good deeds, you name it! Dont get me wrong, these are all wonderful things and I bet that God would be glorified by your doings, but if you have no love or desire to know God, then all these things you’ve done are of no worth.

God is a God of people, not rules.

Don’t be too caught up in trying to do what’s right that it eventually pulls you away from Christ. God is just and holy, yes! but He is also loving and compassionate. If you love God, then you will obey Him. You obey Him because you love Him and your love is a response to His unconditional love for you. You do not get saved because of your good deeds. This is also the same for your parents, if you love them, you’ll honor them.

All this being said, I guess its safe to say that, God doesnt really care how religious you are… do you love Him? Now that’s the real question.

I could never forget how quick it was for the man, who was crucified next to Jesus, to go to heaven with Him. Jesus knew what was in his heart and immediately forgave the man of his sins despite his many wrongdoings.

I tell you the truth, it is easier to be saved than to be lost. Luke 23:32-43 is evidence!

Which also proves that as long as you live, it is never too late to begin again. Awesome right? So to sum it all up, Jesus doesn’t care about religion because He cares more about YOU!

Samuel 16:7 The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.

Guys, God loves you, okay? No matter what you’ve done in the past or whatever… He will always love you. Its never too late to commit your life to Him, because He is ready to welcome you with arms wide open. Doesnt matter if you’re the “religious type” or not, He loves you. And He really really wants you to love Him back. I pray that you do. Dont worry about what other people say. We’re meant to be different 🙂 different is good… And dont think life’s going to be easier, because its not. But I assure you that God will be with you through it all. Plus, what’s church for without your spiritual family to be there for you? 🙂

God bless you, lovelies ❤ you are forgiven. You are loved. – Mary

PS. I have no idea how to write bibliographies or credits down, but I’ve got some help from my Life Application Bible. Just so you know 😉