Who knew that a young adult with all the knowledge of God she could gather could still live a miserable life? I, of all people, did not think that the “light” I was showing was anxiety and a life full of doubt and double-mindedness- until a few close friends told me. Certainly NOT the life I was called for. I was up and running all the time, I didn’t know how to rest, and even when I did rest, I would try to make up for the “wasted” time until I was burnt out again. I was uptight and I second-guessed, not only my actions, but my motives as well! There was no peace.
If anyone saw my life, they wouldn’t want to be Christian. Yikes!
And yet, God was gracious to me. I knew that there was no other way but forward, no other way but Christ. Indeed, He is gentle and humble at heart. After years and years of living the miserable christian life. Christ taught me how to have joy by the power of the Holy Spirit, through His word (that gave me hope) and quality time with family and friends.
I founally- haha! spoonerism of finally and found. Anyway, I finally have joy again. It was not forced and I didn’t think twice about it. And the best part was, I got to praise God for it. It wasn’t a robotic “thank you” because I know God deserved our gratitude even when I don’t feel like it. But I have tasted and seen and felt the goodness of God so much that praise slipped through my lips! And even that made me want to thank God even more, knowing that joy and praise doesn’t come naturally to me. It truly is a gift from God (Ecclesiastes 5:19).
Mary for Christ 
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