7:59AM
Perhaps I do not remember but my praise to the Lord is different this morning. I woke up the earliest I could which was 7:30am. I have a lot to do today but the Lord gave me joy to enjoy the time I have allotted for him. I can’t believe that in less than 30 mins, I was able to have a good stretch and praise the Lord singing “Everything that has breath” by Hillsong and I still have 30mins to read His word!
As I sang, I was dancing quite funnily. My whole body felt awkward but I just enjoyed dancing and moving my body for the Lord. I couldn’t think of any specific blessings to praise the Lord for, I just know there are many and that He is so good! I was teary eyed as I danced like a groovy old woman. It was so funny! I laughed with the Lord. I was so happy! Thank you Lord for this joy!
Despite my failed grades for pre-boards, despite missing an exam- God sustained me to give all my anxieties and worries to Him. Today as I opened the Bible randomly in Psalms so I could praise the Lord, I read Psalm 147 and it said in v11 “The Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.” AMEN!
Yes, I’ve made mistakes. But whatever happens, the Lord will let use it for good. He will never let me slip or fall from his hands. Everything has a purpose, even the bad, and I will praise the Lord and extol His name!
Mary, this is what it feels like to be filled in the Spirit:
- When you get irritated, you pause, resist your initial emotions, ask God for help and YIELD to him. (P.R.A.Y acronym)
- When you are offended, you do not assume or judge immediately, you try to think of ways to understand the person.
- When you are anxious, you remind yourself who the Lord is.. and you will be filled with peace because of the faith and hope you have in Him!
- On a mundane day, you will have joy simply because God is good. You won’t be afraid to dance and sing because you woke up early in the morning and no one is awake yet. Just you and the Lord.
- You can dance all weird and lip sync with earphones on, and praise the Lord!
- You will not worry about time because God will take the best you can give, he is merciful and patient to those whose hearts are set on him. Praise the Lord!
- And, you are excited to read his word, to talk to him, to praise him, to share about him, to obey and follow him.
Thank you Lord!
But the joy didn’t last long…
Mary at 4/24/21 1:44 PM
A stressful thing just happened. Kulang dent materials ko. D ako makakapag-CPE next week. I forced myself to practice with what I have. Save up using 1 casting wax, the bigger sprue wax… it was a disaster! I found myself getting discouraged more and more. My face was heating up.
Mom found out and got stressed. I should’ve listened to them and asked for help in buying materials. I did it all on my own, nagtipid ako, and I didn’t give them a chance to help me search dental materials here (since we’re abroad but my school is in our home country), which led to this moment. Na-disappoint si mommy sakin.
I was so stressed and sad. I had to keep myself from getting angry. I P.R.A.Yed using the acronym my Ninang shared. I paused, resisted my emotions, asked the Lord for help and endured in yielding to the Holy spirit. Because of that, God gave me patience and understanding towards my mommy and humbled my heart to say sorry. Mommy was stressed. Daddy had to go back to the pastoral house to repeat a recording that brought him quite late the last time. And then mommy found out I couldn’t go on with my clinical requirements because I had incomplete things.
I was ashamed, sad and frustrated. I was anxious about the thoughts of other people towards me, how kuripot, indecisive and stupid I had been. I was sad because I sought a hug from someone important, but she was avoidant, only giving a forced, stiff, half-hug. I cried to the Lord. I told him all that was in my heart. I apologized to Him as well. I had been so stubborn. But the Lord showed me his unfailing love and patience, how he is slow to anger. I only need to humble myself to Him and repent. How gracious is he!
I wrote down my hurts and feelings, and the things I feel God calls me to do. Then I stood up and apologized to mommy. I will do all that I need and can do, one step at a time by God’s grace. Amen.
The joy was cut short in the morning, but when I persevered in the Lord, clung on to Him and surrendered to the Holy Spirit, my joy was restored!
Not everything is as it should be yet. I’m still kinda stressed. But I find peace, knowing that the Lord’s got my back and He will guide me as I cling on to Him.
Fighting! Grace & peace,
Mary on the road to DMD.
Mary for Christ 
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