Stubborn Pride || Short Poem

That smug face of yours
Provokes my stubborn pride.
Trying to prove you wrong
When I know that you are right.

A headstrong lass you are
But alack, so am I.
Arguments starts to raise
And our chins held up high.

What do I gain, dear Self
But a black and hardened heart?
“To win is to lose” my conscience would say,
But to lose is to dust my pride away.

Right now would be the time
To cut out this silly war.
But pride fears the word “LOSER”
Written in bold with an underscore.

That smug face of yours
I wish I could wipe away
Provokes my reckless pride
To make all things go my own way.

But God rebukes my foolish heart
And tells me to let it go;
Chew it off like bubble gum
And pop it with a blow.

There are times when I am right
And what I say does have a point.
But my emotion-masked retorts
Hinders the “good” in my intentions.

If what I say, truest of truths,
Is without a care or clue.
All they’d hear from my own mouth
Is my pride I try push through.

In the end I’d have to learn
From the shame of my mistakes.
A loving and humble heart
Is all it really takes.

Not fighting back and giving in
Doesn’t mean that you are weak.
In fact, you’d be rewarded
If His righteousness ye seeks.

Lord, please begin to humble
My own hard, imprudent heart.
I’m willing to give it in
And walk my way back to the start. – Mary France

 

 

Dear Nay || Poem for Lola

[Philippians 3:13]

image

Dear Nay,

I wish I had more time to spend with you.
And God, who is Good, had made it true.

When we- well you, talked the whole night through
About a certain story of your youth.
I listened patiently though it had become slightly repetitive
(Which is usual for a woman your age)

Retelling of the “good ol’ days” as each minute passed,
Your eyes would twinkle with fondness,
And you laughed and smiled to yourself
As if your memory was freshly fabricated just yesterday.

Though in all truth it must’ve been more than decades ago.
I’m glad I stayed and savored that moment with you.
Little did I know… your days were few;
Your nights were numbered and your time would pass.

I thought we’d have more birthdays together,
You and I on the month of July, the 22nd.
I promised myself that I’d spend more time with you,
But I should’ve done it sooner,
Because you left far too early.

And it didn’t register in my mind that you were gone
Just thinking about the things I’d miss about you
Was enough to make me realize that you won’t come back.

When they tell me to rejoice because you’re in heaven-
Is it wrong for me to say that I’m not happy?

I’m not happy because you’re in heaven…
And I’m not. I’m not there with you.
It’s a selfish thought, but the world is crashing upon me
And I’ve never been as homesick as I am today.

I just want to go home…

Death came sooner than I expected.
A dental student, a college professor, a friend’s dad;
Innocent flesh dying every minute.
And now you too?

But if you ask me how do I do, don’t you worry.
I’m fine now, thank you.
Does that mean I have forgotten you?
Of course not! I will remember you ’til I too pass away.

There is a time for everything…
A time to mourn and a time for joy.
For at night, I cried myself to sleep
But then the morning came, the sun rose and a new day begins.

I strain forward to what lies ahead,
And look towards what God has in store
For Providence gave all these things to me,
And He too hath taken them away.

Praise be His name still, rejoicing for the glory that is to come.
If death is swift and time is passing,
There’s no need to rush, for Life will come
And carry me home to see you again.

Sa muling pagkikita.

Love,
Dannelle

A Thousand Times Forgiven || Poetry

Isaiah 43:25
“I, only I, am He who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake,
And I will not remember your sins.”


In the pit of my stomach
There lay a deep burden.
A hidden transgression,
One hard to suppress.

I dare not denounce,
But I need say no more.
The finale shall come,
My stained veil shall fall.

There is no secret
That stays long unseen.
Behind my painted smile,
Is my cowering shame.

I may seem strong
But the truth is I am weak.
I'm searching for help
Acceptance, I seek.

Time will come, I know.
Anxious, my heart waits, 
Tainted with contrite
For my true self to uncover.

Penitent was I, a thousand times more.
Forgiven was I, a thousand times before.
How long shall I dance in the sinner's ball?
Up and down, yet down I fall.

Apologies don't partner with repetition,
I should've known that by now.
But sin is embedded in my skin like tattoo
That only the blood of the Lamb can undo.

Jesus, tear off my crooked mask.
Gently break me piece by piece
To be filled with more of You. 
To be the woman You want me to be.

You see me as I am,
Broken, frail and weak.
A lost child stained in black,
Yet You still chose to love me.

You chose to forget my past
And forgive my sins completely.
You saw the real me inside,
The me I shall and will be.

I hid myself and You sought me.
I thought of my worries; You thought of me.
I ran away and You waited for me.
I came back dirty and You ran towards me.

How can it be, O merciful God
That You never run out of mercies?
How can Your love stretch out so wide,
For an underserving filth such as I?

I could hardly sleep with the voice of yesterday.
Echoing in my head, "sin, sin, sin."
I don't want to go back to where You found me.
I don't want to go back to where I've been.

Yet You tell me, "I have set You free,
Free from the chains that hold you."
Then why can I still feel its bitter ghost 
Slowly wrapping its arms around me?

I claim that I am dead to sin
But sin is not dead in a world so full of it.
There are demons that lay about 
Waiting to snatch its next victim.

So here I am once again kneeling in repentance.
"Forgive me, O Lord, a thousand times more!"
And in a gentle whisper You say,
"Forgiven, my child, a thousand times before."

- Mary France

Offended Heart || Poetry and My Story

Proverbs 19:11 NIV
A person’s wisdom yields (gives) patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.

Ecclesiastes 7:21-22
Do not take to heart all the things that people say… Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others.


Patience has its limits, 
A balloon filled with grudge.
It needeth no needle to burst with rage.

One last blow, 
One slight budge,
Might just unlock the lion's cage.

Like one striped black and white,
Whose image deceptively innocent.
Suppressed anger, explodes suddenly as you draw closer.

Masked under the pressure of the name entitled 'perfect'.
Her facade slowly creeping through the cracks
Seen by the people who love and deeply know her.

Hidden beneath her sweetened smile
Is a bitter, scowling heart.
She hopes would fade away along with unwanted memories.

It is beauty she longs to see
Not the mistakes and the lies, 
But the grace of Jesus upon her unforgiven enemies.

What is in her heart is displayed by her flesh.
Afraid of the mockery, disappointment, and resent.
She keeps up her front. Convicted.

But once anger could no longer be restrained,
Regret and guilt will start to sprout.
The people whom she loves. Afflicted.

Offended, offended, easily offended.
Little words with hidden meanings, It's hard to accept it.
She shall not give in but her heart has already took hold.

Why, O, why does the soul be too delicate?
Why does it take too much offense?
She hides her pain but it starts to unfold.

Harden, harden, her heart hardens,
Thoughts that invaded her mind deepens.
Thus shutting loved ones out, afraid she'd hurt them.

The day has turned dark, though the sun shines proudly.
A pang in her heart filled with longing,
A longing for the joy found in God alone.

Lord, please renew my hardened heart
And fill it with a love like Yours.
Kind, patient, and with no limits.

Your love keeps no records
Of my wrongdoings and of my hate
You've forgiven me long before and have forgotten all of it.

When my heart forms into a frown,
I pray you'd turn it to a smile.
Contagious and joyful for all to see.

So that they too would seek the same
Joy, love, and glee.
That they'd see you, Jesus, in me.

- Mary France


So, in case you haven’t figured out yet, this poem is about me. I am one who takes offense very easily. Teasings and jokes may be taken too deeply. Hurtful words find it hard to leave my thoughts. And I keep all these things to myself ’cause I know that I might just start crying or worst, hurt somebody with my emotion-driven madness. That’s something I’d like to change. I tried. But I ended up feeling frustrated in the end. That was when I realized that I needed to stop trying so hard to fix myself with my own strength but surrender and let God’s power work through me and change me.

When I get offended, I try not to speak to anybody and isolate myself from people until I feel alright again. I knew in me that every single word they would say, offensive or not, will still upset me. So I kept my distance in order to avoid hurting anyone or throwing my feelings at them. Little did I know, I was just giving enough time for all the negative thoughts and the lies to spread and take over my heart and mind.

Honestly, there were times when I pushed God away and asked Him to leave me and my “feelings” be. Just for awhile, you know. Do you ever feel that way too? It’s scary how we’d rather choose our prideful satisfaction over what is good.

But I always get this sharp thug in my heart. Though outside, it may have hardened a bit ’cause I’m trying my best to hide my vulnerability- yet deep deep down I hear voice in my head screaming at my pride to let go of this offense, the hurt, and to forgive those who hurt me. So that I could move on and end the day right. However, I painfully manage to ignore that voice.

This would usually go on for a few 20 mins. First, my pride will undergo a little quarrel with God. The guilt and conviction starts to overwhelm me. I knew that what I was doing is wrong. I didn’t like feeling negatively of myself or of other people. I didn’t like magnifying their mistakes and minimizing the times they have helped me. I didn’t want to ruin the whole day just because I feel like it.

So I finally gave in to God. I acknowledged my problems. I prayed and talked to God, from the heart. I knew that being annoyed and grumpy for no reason isn’t a good thing- and even if it had a reason, it still isn’t a good excuse. I knew it’d be hard to stop myself from doing so. So I asked God to remove the pride in my heart. I asked Him to help me love those who I find hard to love. I asked Him to help me to forgive those who have hurt me, to take away the offense in my heart, and to fill me with joy once again.

I watched this sermon of Joyce Meyer, “Defeating Bad Moods” and boy O boy did her teaching strike me out of my bones! This was exactly the message I needed to hear… and apply! I loved it when she said,

“As quickly as they hurt, you have to say, “I forgive ’em. Lord, I forgive them”

Maybe your feelings haven’t caught up with your decision yet,

But you just keep saying “I will not be offended.'”
– Joyce Meyer, Defeating Bad Moods

And I loved the continuation even more..

Do not let that poison get on the inside of you, because most of the people who hurt you and whom you’re holding unforgiveness against are out having a good time living their life and don’t even care or know that you’re sitting in a corner somewhere bleeding.”
– Joyce Meyer, Defeating Bad Moods

In the end of it all, I learned (and am still learning) to look beyond the hurtful words and the offensive actions of the people I know and love, and let God handle it all.

I will choose to not be too deeply offended and I will choose to forgive those who have hurt me (intentionally or unintentionally). I am not going to let one moment ruin my day. And I will not give in to the lies of the enemy. I will let God manifest His love in me and I will choose to rejoice in the Lord.

I hope and pray that you choose the same 🙂

Paalam (goodbye), strawberry jam!

Fail attempt to rhyme.

Okay, serious now…

Grace and peace, God’s masterpiece! 😉

 

 

 

“Friends” || Short Poem

I do not own this photo

“Friends”
11/21/15 [11:20pm]

The time you need them most
Is the time they disappear.

When you voice out your thoughts,
Nobody lends an ear.

When they are sad and broken,
To you they will appear.

The time I needed you most
Was the time you disappeared.

11/22/15 [6:16pm]

Not a single ‘How are you?’
Nor a simple ‘Hi!’

I’m not mad, don’t get me wrong.
Just quite sad, that’s why.

I guess I just feel lonely,
I’m being dramatic, I know.

But I’d really do appreciate,
If there’s little care you’d show.

I love you, my friends, from the moon and back to earth,
Please guys, do remind me of our friendship’s true worth.

As long as I remember, I will pray for all of you.
I hope that there’d be someone praying for me too.

– Mary France