When Things Go Out of Control… God Will Make a Way || College, Life, & Change

College has honestly been stressful. Never have I studied this much in my life! Quizzes and home works here and there, and the last thing you’d want to happen is to get sick. Well guess what? I got sick… (-_-;) and that was a day before my midterm exam started. Perfect timing. Please take note of my sarcasm. Staying in a dorm apart from your family and having to decide, “Am I sick enough to go home and rest OR should I stay in and study?”, is a decision I struggled to make. I’ve never missed an exam when I was in high school nor did I ever experience getting sick in the Philippines away from my mom and dad. So this pretty panicked me a little. I called my relatives and they informed my parents and man, was my mom worried sick. So I went to the school clinic to get a check up- mom’s command. Based on the check-up, I didn’t have a fever, my temperature’s fine, I’m pretty much healthy. But I felt horrible. I probably lacked a lot of sleep/rest.

My family demanded me to go back home to rest. I contemplated on it and made the choice to go home. My head hurt too bad to study and I probably will get a fever if I didn’t get enough rest. When I got home I slept ALL DAY and boy, did it feel good to sleep. The next day, my lola (grandmother) and I went to the hospital to get another check-up (by the demands of my other worried-sick relatives) to figure out what meds I need to take and to ask for the opinion of the doctor, and for a medical certificate that I would need as proof for a reasonable excuse for being absent. My tita (aunt) told me that in their last visit, the doctor was a really grouchy man or how Filipinos would call it, mataray.

Will he even give me a medical certificate? I’m not even sick enough to get one. I thought to myself, worried.

My lola told me not to worry, she said she had already prayed for the doctor. When we entered the room, we weren’t met by a smile. As expected. But after a few minutes of talking, he suddenly smiled and even laughed! He started joking and we talked as if we were close friends. What a joy! hahaha

Me and my lola rode a tricycle back home and talked about how joyful the doctor actually was. The tricycle driver, who has known the doctor for a long time (through other patients), said that Doc was usually a grumpy man. Well,, God has His ways. I smiled and thought about at how awesome God is on the ride home.

Once I got everything checked, I have my meds, I have my medical certificate, I’m feeling good. Now, I should probably start studying for the exams that I’ve missed. But I guess, it wouldn’t hurt to eat a little… ooh they’re watching Annie 2014! Maybe I’ll watch for a few minutes.

~After an hour~

Ugh, my head hurt. I’ll sleep now.

Yup! you guessed it. Not one little bit of productivity. The next day, I went back to the dorm and made my way to school to get my readmission slip so I could take my special exams for free. Without the medical certificate- you’d have to pay to take the exams- and I missed 8 out of 11. Guess what? I left the medical certificate all the way back home in Magallanes, and my dorm is located in Manila, which is 2 hours away from each other- disregarding the traffic. Lord, what do I do? Let Your will be done, its out of my control now. I didn’t know what to do anymore. I started to sing “God Will Make a Way” out loud. I didn’t care what my dorm mates might think, I just needed to calm myself down and trust in God that He will make a way. Surprisingly, I wasn’t fazed by the situation. I knew deep inside of me, beyond my easily panicked heart, that God will make a way- it may not be easy- but I know God will bring me where He wills. And just so you know, God’s will is perfect and His plans are made to give me a hope and a future and not to harm me. Jeremiah 11:29 wooooh! haha

I texted my mom and she told me to go to Ma’am Odessa’s office. In case you guys haven’t read my older post, Ma’am Odessa is the woman we met in a local bus on our way to school from my hometown, Laguna. This is a big deal because mom and dad will go back to live in Dubai, and I’d have to be able to go to school alone- which isn’t exactly safe especially when your home is 2 hours away, and me being a dependent kid with no knowledge of the area doesn’t help one bit. Plus, Philippines isn’t exactly the safest place in the world. Anyway, surprisingly, Ma’am Odessa has been working in CEU (the university I’m currently studying in) for 25+ years! And now she’s became a close friend of ours and I am very thankful to God for bringing her and her family into our lives. What’s even more cool and lupet is that they’re a Christian family as well! Haha isn’t God so awesome!? So she’s the one who helped my get my readmission slip and medical certificate from the school. Everything went so smoothly that I forgot why I was worried in the first place.

I was able to take my exams. I struggled a little ’cause I barely studied- but I did try my best, and by the grace of God I got good grades 🙂

It may seem like a little problem, and it is… to God. But can you imagine? a big, extraordinary God will find the time to fix such a small problem for a sinful person like me?

Another hurdle I had to jump through is my anger and irritation to my theology teacher. I’m usually a nice and understanding person and I’m embarrassed to say this but, my blood coils at the sight of her. It makes me feel… un-Christian, if that makes sense. So yeah, I asked her if I could take the exam… she told me that I could after her class. The only problem is that I have a Math class after hers and I have to take an exam there as well.

“That’s your problem, not mine… you either take the exam or you don’t.” was her nerve-gutting reply. I resisted the urge to glare. And my oh my, I forgot to mention, she gave a project-quiz on the day of the exam- which I wasn’t informed of because I was sick. I asked her if I could take have a chance to do the assignment- she told me, It’s your responsibility for not being informed and asking your classmates. You have to accept the consequences.

Ugh, who announces an assignment on exam days? ヽ(o`皿′o)ノ << angry emoticon. And btw, I did inform one of my classmates that I was sick but I wasn’t informed of any homework! I really wanted to rip my hair off from the frustration I felt. She wouldn’t give me a chance to explain nor did she give me a chance to do that one assignment which was both a project and a quiz, which meant I could lose a lot of grades if I don’t pass it. Well how could I? She won’t give me a chance. What annoyed me more is that she kept of telling the whole class that, It’s a very simple assignment- sad to say, some of you are lazy and not responsible enough to do it. (;一_一)

That was it. I let my anger sink in and I couldn’t help but despise her with all my heart. My consciousness of this ugly feeling brought up another ugly feeling… guilt and shame. I cannot believe I got easily affected by this person. Yeah, I’m not doing anything bad to her- but I forgot to mention the part where I imagined grabbing her hair and screaming at her face. Yeap… I completely forgot of God’s love in a snap. I angrily stomped back to my dorm with a failing grade and an angry heart. I called my dad and told him the whole story, and praise the Lord for a wonderful, patient, understanding, and ever-loving daddy! He spoke kindly, gently rebuking my anger but with love and compassion. Which reminded me of how sad God must have felt when I cursed my teacher in my head. I asked my friends (the youth in our church back in Dubai) to pray for my anger and irritation, and that God would give me a loving and forgiving heart. Amazingly, just a few minutes to talking with my dad and my friends, my anger turned into love and joy! I was so amazed at how quickly God had answered our prayers!

In the midst of all our problems, we have to learn to love others just as God loves us. We should love even those we hate and despise… If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. Luke 6:32-33 

It’s not easy to love those you despise, I’ve just realized ahaha! But once you have experienced and felt how much God, Our Father loves you. It wouldn’t be hard to radiate that love to others.

I’ll end with the well-known, but easily forgotten Bible verse,

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Praise God for everything! He really is alive and working in our lives today, you just have a stop and listen for His still, small voice. He’s there. Just be still and know that He is Lord. God bless you, my lovelies!

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